Forwarded Messages

Find out which profession is in perfect allignment with your zodiac: *** ARIES (March 21 - April 19) COLIN POWEL : Former US Secretary of State and four - star general Being a fire sign, Aries are drawn to professions that offer independence, with a touch of danger. Generally perceived as a sign of the pioneer and the fighter, an Aries - born tends to excel in jobs that are physical and combative. *** TAURUS (April 20 - May 20) AUDREY HEPBURN: Actress Naturally artistic and creative, Taureans enjoy working with food, arts and luxury goods. People belonging to this earth sign should steer clear of professions that involved physical discomfort, including harsh cold or very wet conditions. *** GEMINI (May 21 - June 21) ERNESTO 'CHE' GUEVARRA: Marxist leader and author

1. The nice men are ugly. . 2. The handsome men are not nice. . 3. The handsome and nice men are gay. . 4. The handsome, nice, and heterosexual men are married. .

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. 'I'd like to be twelve again', she replied, still looking in the mirror. On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Alton Towers theme park.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... a youth she's content to leave behind....  A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A little girl went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet. She poured the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times, even.. The total had to be exactly perfect.. No chance here for mistakes. Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall's Drug Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above the door. She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention, but he was too busy at this moment. Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise. Nothing. She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster. No good.

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.

This is TOO cool! Just the math part is good enough, the end is even better. I bet you will NOT be able to read it without sending it on to at least one other person! Beauty of Mathematics! 1 x8+1 = 9 12 x8+2 = 98 123 x8+3 = 987 1234 x8+4 = 9876 12345 x8+5 = 98765 123456 x8+6 = 987654 1234567 x8+7 = 9876543 12345678 x8+8 = 98765432 123456789 x8+9 = 987654321 - 1 x9+ 2 = 11 12 x9+ 3 = 111 123 x9+ 4 = 1111 1234 x9+ 5 = 11111 12345 x9+ 6 = 111111 123456 x9+ 7 = 1111111 1234567 x9+ 8 = 11111111 12345678 x9+ 9 = 111111111 123456789 x9+10 =1111111111 - 9 x9+ 7 = 88 98 x9+ 6 = 888 987 x9+ 5 = 8888 9876 x9+ 4 = 88888 98765 x9+ 3 = 888888 987654 x9+ 2 = 8888888 9876543 x9+ 1 = 88888888 98765432 x9+ 0 = 888888888 Brilliant, isn't it? And look at this symmetry: