The Eight Counts of Life's Rhythm
Commencement Speech Given in the Ateneo de Manila University for the Graduates of 2015
You see, I come from a certified Blue Eagle family. My
father, his brother and my siblings all graduated from the Ateneo, with all
four men in my family in the Honors Class since their elementary grades.
Although I married a magna cum laude from Harvard. (Sorry, my husband made sure
that I stuck that in there somewhere.)
When I was seventeen, fresh out of high school, I found
myself standing at a crossroad in my life: I was accepted in both the Ateneo
and UP for college.
But I decided to go to Russia instead and pursue my dream of
becoming a ballerina in the toughest ballet school in the world, as a cultural
scholar of the former Soviet Union.
Given this opportunity, the diploma would have to wait. I
struck a deal with my parents—I gave myself two years to devote to dancing,
which was my first love. If it didn’t work out, I promised I would go back to
school and become an accountant, which was what my grandparents wanted me to
be.
That was the first big deadline I’ve ever set for myself.
When I told my parents I wanted to study ballet in Russia
instead of enrolling in college like everyone else, my father’s reaction was:
“What? So you will become a dancer and just learn to count to eight for the
rest of your life?” My mom, on the other hand, was very
supportive. She herself wanted to become a ballerina but was forced to stop
when a ban in the 1950s prohibited girls from Catholic schools to dance ballet.
My grandparents? Well, they still wanted me to become an accountant.
My dad probably thought I would find life in Russia so hard
that I would hurry back home anyway, so finally, he relented. I left right
after my 18th birthday and was assigned to the 7th year level of the Russian
Ballet Academy in St Petersburg. It was 1982 and the first snow had just fallen
when our plane touched down in what was then a bastion of communism.
In a way, my father was right. That first year in Russia was
indeed the hardest year of my life. It was a life that was filled with change
and adaptation—new culture, new language, new dogmas, a new method of ballet
training, new weather conditions… Then eventually, I had to make new friends
and satisfy new mentors. Beginnings are difficult.
But I stayed. Sometimes being stubborn has its rewards. There
were many days in those cold ballet studios in the dead of winter when my body
was ready to collapse from sheer exhaustion and it was just my stubborn will
that pushed me to continue doing those drills again and again, day in and day
out. Even in the many nights when I cried myself to sleep from homesickness or
from the soreness of an injury, the pain was gently but obstinately pushed
aside the minute I focused on my dream – the dream of becoming not just a
ballerina but the best ballerina I could ever become. I substituted the
occasional feelings of helplessness and anxiety with visions of achieving that
dream. This—plus an attitude of gratitude, an overwhelming sense of
appreciation for being exactly where I was and the miracle of how I even got
there.
Despite the many sacrifices, my being in Russia was a great
blessing and I survived by putting all my energy in practicing, learning and
following directions as I was being mentored in the very difficult Russian
Vaganova system of classical ballet training. I was like a horse with blinders.
Nothing else mattered but my art. The discipline first shaped my mind and
spirit—then my body eventually followed. Not only did I stay to finish the two
years of ballet training, I stayed on for two more, this time as the first
foreigner to be invited as an artist of the 250-year-old Kirov Ballet.
This is where that crossroad of my life has brought me. The
journey was challenging but it was well worth it because I pursued a path that
brought me closer to my heart’s calling. And when your heart speaks to you, you
can never go wrong because it never lies. And it will push you to go forward
and excel because at a certain point, your dream becomes like oxygen. You need
it to breathe. You need it to grow. You need it to live.
However, in today’s world, the standards of success have
become a bit more complicated. You can’t just drill; you need to create. You
can’t just learn; you need to innovate. You can’t just follow; you need to
lead.
Today, you find yourself in that same crucial intersection
in life that I myself crossed many years ago. What can I tell you now that will
make your next steps easier, if not more meaningful?
My father was right in saying that ballet dancers are
drilled to count to eight. It is in these classic eight counts that a segment
of movement is born. Then we start all over again with one. From this
repetitive drill, choreography is born. So they actually serve as building
blocks for creating something new and creative.
In this fashion, allow me to share with you my own “eight
counts” which I hope would serve as helpful references as you find your own
rhythm and direction in life:
FIRST
Decide and commit to something that you are passionate
about. The earlier you do this, the better. Make a decision not just on what
you want to do and what you want to achieve in the next few years, but try to
picture where you want to be 20 years from now. This was something my father
taught me. He was a very wise and logical man. After all, he was an Atenean
right? When I was 15, he made me write a list of what I wanted to be
and should have done by the age of 35. I came up with the following: to get a
degree from the Ateneo and become a teacher; to dance all the classical
ballerina roles at least once in my career; to own and operate my own ballet
school; to have my own family and be a mom. I committed myself to these
long-term goals alongside my short term ones and looking back, I seem to have
done everything before I reached 35 – except for the first one. But wait, since
I am a ballet teacher, I guess it’s just a matter of getting a diploma then.
Hmmm…
SECOND
No pain, no gain. I cannot overemphasize this point. Nothing
can take the place of hard work – not even talent. As they say, hard work beats
talent when talent does not work hard. When my own daughter told me she wanted
to become a ballerina, a part of me was excited for her and pleased that I
could help her to achieve her dream. But part of me was also screaming NOOOOO
because I wanted to protect her from all the blood, sweat, and tears that she
would have to go through in order to achieve her dreams. In the end, she
pursued her intention and now I know how my parents felt back then—extremely
proud!
THIRD
Whatever your goal, get good at it! Whatever it is you are
passionate about, you need to keep at it and practice. Repeat. Practice.
Repeat. While you are practicing and repeating, don’t forget the “and” count —
the “one-and-a-two-and-a-three” connecting counts that link together connecting
steps in ballet. Bear in mind that there are also connecting points in life
that are just as important as its highs and lows. These are the periods of
rest, recreation, and stillness. These in-between moments are just as important
because they give you a chance to breathe, to balance and to center. So keep on
practicing – but take vacations too. Keep your focus… but remember it’s the
linking “ands” that keep you connected.
FOURTH
Honor your emotions and acknowledge your fears. It’s okay to
be nervous, to feel anxious or to have stage fright. That means you care and
that you want to excel. After three decades of dancing, I still gag before
going onstage! That’s why I make sure to fast before every performance.
Seriously, it’s when you stop feeling nervous that you should start to worry because
that means you are becoming apathetic towards what you are doing. And that’s a
scary place to be in. Your emotions are a part of who you are. Being emotional
doesn’t mean you’re weak. Whether you need to deal with pressure, loss,
failure, hurt or rejection, our emotions are not a baggage. Instead, they make
us human. They make us whole. So cry, laugh, smile, scream… it’s okay!
FIFTH
For a performing artist, the performance is the product and
thus, the most important part of your work. All the classes, rehearsals,
warm-ups and preparation culminate into that one performance. That is what the
audience sees and that is what they will take away with them. Treat every time
you get to practice your profession as a performance. Don’t save your best
effort for another day. Always give 100% so you never have to regret anything.
But BE PREPARED. You know in jumping, the deeper you do this step called a
“plié” which means to bend (in this case your knees) the higher you are able to
propel yourself into the air. The plié is your preparation. The soaring into
the air is the goal. The more prepared you are, whether for a presentation, a
task or a performance, usually, the outcome is also better. Take this moment
now to thank your parents, teachers, mentors, administrators, family,
colleagues, your Manongs and Manangs and your friends. For they all helped out
to prepare you well. And they will continue to support you in the years to
come. Believe me, you will need their support.
SIXTH
Do something crazy. Do something that defies all
logic at least once in your life. You never know what could happen from there.
I once found myself in Cuba and was asked to dance the full-length Swan Lake.
Now you have to know something about Swan Lake—it has the most difficult
ballerina role ever. In fact, in Russia, I was warned by my own teacher—who I
loved and respected and trusted—that I should never do the roles of
Odette/Odile. It’s true. She told me when I graduated that I was already
equipped to dance any role out there—except Odette/Odile. “Because Lisa, you
will never be a Swan Queen,” she said frankly but with every good intention.
Well, my “something crazy” happened twice in my life. First, I accepted the
challenge of performing Swan Lake in Cuba with only FOUR DAYS to learn and
rehearse it. And I performed what was for me the WORST Swan Lake I have ever
done in my career! Honestly, I still cringe when I watch the video. But I did
it. No regrets. My second crazy moment was when I resigned from my former
company, where I was principal dancer, and formed Ballet Manila in 1995 with 11
other young dancers. No money, no connections, just a lot of drive and dreams
to begin with. Well, the company just celebrated its 20th anniversary last
month with five times the number of dancers, plus a school and a scholarship
foundation that promises a steady supply of well-trained ballet dancers to
continue our mission of bringing ballet to the people and people to the ballet
in the many years to come! Sometimes closing your eyes and taking that leap of
faith will get you there—even if it makes you pass through a lot of heartaches
and failure along the way.
SEVENTH
This one is a quote I saw on social media but which I felt
was truly valid and real: “One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever
face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder.” This is where
setting a deadline for yourself is most important. I gave myself two
years to become a ballerina, although honestly I do not know what I would have
done if it didn’t work out. (You see I hate accounting. Working with numbers
was never my forte—unless of course it involves counting to 8).
So push yourself through self-doubts, for they will
certainly come. Push yourself through rejection. But also know when it’s time
to re-direct. Re-boot. And then decide and commit all over again.
EIGHTH OR LASTLY …
Serve. Offer yourself to a cause bigger than your own needs
or ambition. Find ways to make your dreams meaningful to others as well. One
thing that I’ve learned from my family of Blue Eagles is that an Atenean means
being a “man or woman for others.” You need to serve. Serve your whole life. Serve
yourself sometimes. But serve others more often.
I met many of you during two separate visits to the Ateneo
that have prepared me for today’s commencement speech. With today’s visit, I
must say I haven’t been this often to Ateneo since I was in high school coming
to watch Dulaang Sibol.
So what are my eight counts again?
- Decide and commit
- Work hard
- Focus and get good
- Honor your emotions
- Prepare well
- Take the leap
- Set deadlines
- Serve.
Fly high Blue Eagle graduates! This is your time to soar!
Source: Lisa Macuja Elizalde (FB account)
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