Forwarded Messages

1. Throw out non-essential numbers. This includes age, weight, and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them. 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)   3. Keep learning Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!   4. Enjoy the simple things Small things gives pure joy. Do not focus on imagination and great expectations. Appreciate this little things, they are done with sincerity.

No matter how far our exams are dumbed down, it seems it's not far enough for today's pupils. But rather than admit defeat in the face of tricky questions, some decide to take a more creative approach to their answers. You won't know whether to laugh - or cry...

Every human being has the right to choose how they feel; you can choose happiness or sadness. You may be depressed or heartbroken, over something that may have happened to you or something you did a long time ago, maybe even years ago, to yourself or to others. But you need not stay in that depressed state any longer. There is no need to carry that pain any longer inside of your heart, day after day, year after year. You must not let it grow continuously because soon enough, that one issue you are sad or depressed about will turn into your normal way of thinking. Negative thinking has a domino effect!

Rule One Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you... with grace, strength, courage and confidence. Rule Two Today, and everyday, deliver more than you are getting paid to do. The victory of success will be half won when you learn the secret of puting out more than is expected in all that you do. Make yourself so valuable in your work that eventually you will become indispensable. Exercise your priviledge to go the extra mile, and enjoy all the rewards you receive. You deserve them! Rule Three Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don't look back at it too long. Mistakes are life's way of teaching you. Your capacity for occasional blunders is inseparable from your capacity to reach your goals. No one wins them all, and your failures, when they happen, are j...

I AM THANKFUL FOR THE WIFE   WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT, BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE. *** FOR THE HUSBAND WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO, BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS. ***  

The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life. Her coat was new. She looked like she had never missed a meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, like so many others had done before. "Leave me alone," he growled... To his amazement, the woman continued standing. She was smiling -- her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows. "Are you hungry?" she asked. "No," he answered sarcastically. "I've just come from dining with the president. Now go away." The woman's smile became even broader. Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm. "What are you doing, lady?" the man asked angrily. "I said to leave me alone.

Don't cheat !!! If you are honest, this tells the truth. It's pretty good. Write your answers on a piece of paper, and NO cheating!! The answers are at the bottom. :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 1.. Which is your favorite color out of RED ,  BLACK ,  BLUE ,  GREEN , or YELLOW ? 2.. Your first initial? 3.. Your month of birth? 4.. Which color do you like more, black or white? 5.. Name of a person of the same gender as yours... 6.. Your favorite number? 7... Do you like Flying or Driving more? 8.. Do you like a lake or the ocean more? When you're done, scroll down... ..................................................... ....................................... ........................ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ . . . Answers

Women have strengths that amaze men..... They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.   They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry.   They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.

Life really boils down to 2 questions... >>> >> > 1. Should I get a dog??? >>> >> > OR

The Magic Tap Location: Aqualand, Cadiz Madame Chapeau Location: Brussels , Belgium   

When you have an 'I Hate My Job day' [ Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days ] Try this out: On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Looks ordinary enough but watch as the rice grows...

How do you find reasons to believe when most of what is going on in your life causes nothing short of disbelief? I have to confess, over the last few months or so, I have become very superstitious. Not the bad kind of superstitious, like worrying about black cats in my path or steering clear of ladders; I have become a believer in luck. This may counter act much of my "you are what you think" mentality and how we control our own destinies stuff, but I have had some fun with this stage in my life. There is a level to my persona that likes to test the barometers of thinking outside the box and to see what happens. This is when my fixation with dimes began. A good friend of mine explained to me the significance of a "dime sighting" as we call it. She explained that each time you find a dime means good luck and a great financial future. She went on to say that it signified a loved one that had passed on was looking out for you.

FICTION: In 1919 when the flu killed 40M people, there was a doctor that visited the many farmers to see if he could help them combat the flu. Many of the farmers and their family had contracted it and many died. The doctor came upon this one farmer and to his suprise, everyone was very healthy. When the doctor asked what the farmer was doing that was different, the wife replied that she had placed an unpeeled onion in a dish in the rooms of the home. The doctor couldn't believe it and asked if he could have one of the onions and place it under the microscope. She gave him one and when he did this, he did find the flu virus in the onion. It obviously absorbed the bacteria, therefore keeping the family healthy. Another story from NZ. She said that several years ago, many of her employees were coming down with a flu an so were many of her customers.The next year, she placed several bowls with onions around her shop. To her surprise, none of her staff got sick. It must work!!! ...

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea... As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in it floated, of all things... a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. the pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but it soon got the better of him and he could no longer resist. 'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' Pointing to the bowl. 'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it o...

*** WHAT IS OLD? "OLD" IS when your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Choose one, I can't do both!" "OLD" IS when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. "OLD" IS when a sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door. "OLD" IS when going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. "OLD" IS when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. "OLD" IS when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.   "OLD" IS when "getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fibre today.   "OLD" IS when "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot. "OLD" IS when an "all-nighter" means not getting up to wee. *** --------------------------------- For...

To all the married couples and the singles who intend to get married. When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stak...

DRESS CODE It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350.00 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600.00 Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. SICK DAYS We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor you are able to come to work. SURGERY Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.To have something removed constitutes a breech of employment. PERSONAL DAYS Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays &Sundays. VACATION DAYS All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: January 1, August 1st and 6th, May 23 &December 25. BEREAVEMENT LEAVE This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dea...

In Washington , DC , at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, this man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, approximately 2,000 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After about 3 minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule. About 4 minutes later, the violinist received his first dollar. A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk. At 6 minutes, a young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.